Baseball
By Louis Lalire
Last season was magical. It was the year that my favorite team, and baby franchise, the Washington Nationals, became relevant within the national baseball scene. They were young, talented, and when the end of September came, they'd arguably had the best season of any team. They had, inarguably, the best pitching staff (okay, not "inarguably", but it was between them and the Reds), a knack for come-from-behind wins, a lights out bullpen, and despite the fact that the offense would come and go, they played with a reckless, energetic innocence that fueled the whole team, young and old, on a nightly basis.
I lived through most of it on the other side of a radio, catching almost all of the Charlie Slowes-Dave Jaegeler broadcasts...
Side Note: It disturbs me how awesome Charlie and Dave are and how terrible Bob Carpenter and FP Santangelo--the TV crew on MASN--are. I'd be willing to bet its the largest disparagement of talent between Radio and TV teams of one franchise in all the MLB. Super Side Note: Can we create a system for weekly broadcaster power rankings? Is Vin Scully immovable at #1? Is Tim McCarver immovable at 77,000? Super Super Side Note: That's not a random number, by the way, I could name 76,999 better baseball broadcasters than Mr. "Something to Keep in Mind" McCarver himself).
This year its been the same routine, mostly, although I've watched quite a few more games, but the mood is different. I know longer drool over when 7:10 pm will get here, nor do I get angry when I realize the Nats or on the road in LA (a 10:10 start time). I listen to each game, and I have a good time, mostly, but I know longer relish listening to these games. I do it out of necessity.My mood has reflected that of the team itself: that youthful, reckless exuberance has been subdued, as if, after winning their first division title last year, they became "too cool" for it (Side Note: this year's youthful exuberance title is going to be a down-to-the-wire race between the Red Sox--what!--the Pirates, and the Indians). The face of all this apathy: Dan fucking Haren. He was the addition to the Nats pitching staff this year and he has pitched exceptionally well recently. Too bad he was so atrociously awful the first 2/3rds of the season that his ERA still clocks in just under 5.00. The funny thing about Dan Haren is that his face when he's pitching "exceptionally well" and "atrociously awful" is EXACTLY THE SAME. Here is Dan Haren's face:
Here is Dan Haren's face after a win:
And after a loss:
When you google image, "Dan Haren having a good time", this is the 4th picture that comes up:
This guy has given up the 6th most homers in the MLB this year. Whenever he gives up one, whether its a game-tying three run shot in the seventh, or a meaningless add-on solo HR, he gives the same, "oh darn, there it goes again" expression. Hey wait! That expression, above, right there--that's it!
That's also the expression he has on as he walks to the dugout, as he shakes his teammates hands after the game, and as he's making sweet, sweet love.
The runner-up to this year's inaugural Dan Haren award is this man:
Rafael Soriano! No one is less excited to come into the game. His "I'm determined" face, as he walks out of the bullpen in the ninth inning, could easily be confused for, "you mean I have to walk all the way over there and pitch?" I think he started the "untuck" so that fans who'd just missed the end of the game could tell who won.
The interesting thing about these two players is that they were two of the four major moves the Nats executed in the offseason. They brought in a over-the-hill closer with a sad case of "Dan Haren face" and also brought in Dan Haren himself! And overpaid them both.
The other two moves they pulled off this off-season involved the acquisition of centerfielder Denard Span from the Twins, and the re-signing of first basemen Adam Laroche, who was coming off his best season in the majors. They came in third and fourth in this year's award race:
The acquisition of Span and re-signing of Laroche meant there were three guys for two positions, which meant the Nationals had to trade this guy:
MICHAEL MORSE! I mean, the guy's walkup song had turned into the rally cry at Nationals Park. "Take on Me" by Ah Ha may still echo through the stadium, but the man who brought it there is gone. It seems though that neither the song nor the man could be away from the other, as Michael Morse has struggled mightily this year in Seattle.
All of these offseason moves executed by GM Mike Rizzo, by the way, were heralded (by me as well) as sly moves that would improve an already improving ball club even more, and its completely ludicrous to claim that these four players' facial expressions are the sole reason for the Nationals decline this year. I mean, the clubhouse mood and feel has a limited impact on a team's success and failure, and the facial expressions of a few guys has little if any impact on the clubhouse mood of the whole team...but then again, lest not forget the powers we deal with...
"Gosh darn't. There it goes again!"
The season is not over. The Braves have won the division, but the Nationals hold onto a tiny hope of a wild card. They would have to overcome either the Reds, Cardinals or Pirates, who all play each other a number of times town the stretch, and who are all immeasurably more consistent than the Nats. But I'll keep listening to Slowes and Jageler on the radio, I'll keep routing for my Nats, and I'll imagine a world in which they pull off a miraculous stretch of wins against their sub-par September competition (mostly against their division--the worst in baseball), steamroll into the playoffs as a wild card team, win the Wild Card game behind a dominant Stephen Strasburg (who'll earn his first playoff victory), carry this momentum through the Division and Conference series until they win the Pennant!!! And then I'll imagine Dan Haren in this world. But I won't have to imagine. Because it will be this:
The Nationals win the Pennant! The Nationals win the Pennant!
Who cares about apathy? God bless you Dan Haren.
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